I am a wanderer.
This realization itself found me along the way. It was during one of my random walks through the streets of Denpasar this weekend.
As I walked, I suddenly felt that my life was like an onion, which Shrek said had layers. And as I progressed, I increasingly began to see my own existence in layers.
I am a wanderer, because here I am walking the streets of Bali. In the meantime, I am wandering the world. And in parallel, I am walking another path: my own soul. And as if that weren’t enough, my email address has been Aragorn for decades.
I love writing!
Writing is also a great field for my adventures. I’ve been writing so much lately that sometimes I feel like I’m just repeating myself: “I think you’ve already said that…” – but that’s how it is when someone is on their way.
I like to write my stories based on my own narrative. This work gives me a kind of responsibility for my own thoughts. I have to try to express myself in a way that others can understand and follow. And it gives me the opportunity to organize my thoughts and draw immediate conclusions, along with the fact that “I can learn the lesson right away.”
And there’s an even bigger advantage to this form of expression: it opens the door to more conversations!
I love to talk!
Conversation is as powerful a form of expression for me as writing.
I have already discovered the benefits of practicing deep conversations.
- I get to know other people’s stories and perspectives.
- I can connect with others based on our shared thoughts.
- Questions often come up about the right thoughts.
In my opinion, questions are of paramount importance to every self-reflective person. (As I wrote before. LOL!)
If the question is right, it can help validate my previous insights, as long as we agree. If we disagree, I have the opportunity to change my thinking, or the difference of opinion only confirms that I have a good answer to the given question. Finally, the greatest gift is when a question comes up that I cannot answer. This is always a treasure! Because here I have the opportunity to travel deeper within myself.
I talked to several people about my first experiences in Bali.
And in these conversations, something slowly began to form within me. I began to feel more and more that everything I had just experienced here in Bali was actually pointing towards one thing: my desire for harmony.
Denpasar’s first teaching
In the article “Bali smiles differently”, I was struck by the role of harmony in my life.
There I wrote that “My first impressions seemed unpleasant, but in the end I am friends with what welcomes me here. I feel gratitude again: a new culture that shows itself to me a little.”
Then, in the conversations that followed the article, a much more understandable form of this thought emerged. I arrived here in this city, which at first seemed more noisy and violent. But I quickly had to realize that only one thing can change here. My attitude.
And with this statement, I accepted this city as it is, I let go of the first impressions that seemed unpleasant and I feel perfectly fine.
So harmony was created!
On one side is the city.
On the other, I am.
And in between the two, something completely new is born.
It’s all very simple… Since accepting, I have only smiled at the fact that I have to refuse about 10 offers in a 100-meter walk.
In fact, two side threads have become important in conversations.
My younger daughter asked why I was responding at all. I was able to answer her immediately: because I don’t want to lose myself! I am the Westerner who is sincerely grateful for the services offered and respectfully refuses them.
And the last few days have shown me that I was right.
I have already received smiles and wai thanks on many occasions for giving this. They have also given me the thumbs-up gesture with a clenched fist several times. In fact, they have now expressed in words several times that my presence is respectful. These feedbacks fill me with pride and immeasurable joy! I will remain who I am…
The other question came from one of my good friends. Why don’t I just buy sunglasses to avoid unnecessary and “disturbing” eye contact. I was able to answer this immediately, without any prior thought.
The reason I don’t buy sunglasses is because I really enjoy those moments when we look people in the eye and smile at each other at the same time, and we lean towards each other together. We connect. This experience is everyday here, and that’s why I specifically wanted to live here! And I don’t want to lose this experience because of the sunglasses I wear to avoid unnecessary connections.
So Bali showed me harmony in its true form with its first lesson.
The harmony…
Based on my thoughts in the post and in the conversations, I realized how important harmony is to me.
How much this characterizes my life is that I have strived to achieve it so many times. Often in a self-sacrificing way. Often in the shadow of conflict avoidance. In many cases instinctively.
From now on, I will definitely be a little more conscious!
As I thought about my life’s striving for harmony. Recognizing this instinctive attraction explains so much!
The harmony of music
One of my realizations was music. I already expressed some of my thoughts in my post “The role of music in my life”. In that post, I wrote mostly about the energy inherent in music. This was a role of music that I had recognized much earlier.
But now I realized that good music is harmony itself. Good music draws an arc, shows contrasts. It creates a mood. It breathes, it flows.
And – how subjective – good music is not only musically harmonious. At least in my eyes. It shows something that is not everywhere and not for everyone.
Melodic death metal.
For most people, I think the very term itself is terrifying. But for me, it was uplifting to understand that for me, it has always meant harmony, even unspoken. How many times have I said that this is one of my favorite genres of music because it combines brutally hard music (and vocals) with beautiful melodies.
Which, after teaching Indonesia, will always mean the duality of harmony to me.
After all, this duality appears in all the music that I really love. The pair of caristolizing guitars and beautiful messages. The elemental power of folk music and the calming of folk wisdom, or in many cases, folk humor. The raw power wrapped in the classical musical education of Beethoven or Bartók.
I made my own music player especially for this post.
I would like you to be among the brave ones and click the play button now! Find me in this song!
If we met in this song, leave a comment!
The harmony of my life
There are still areas of my life that I have been looking at through my new glasses in the past few days. I have savored my past relationships a little with this new vision. I have looked at friendships. Family relationships. Jobs. Eras in my life. I have begun to analyze the resources of the past and present in this area a little.
I already have observations, but – if I want to – I can still have a lot of adventures here.
It is as if I had just discovered a little side path along my path that was always there, and that I had sometimes walked on it, but I was not aware of it.
Now I know that this little path was always there.
And also that it is heading in the same direction that I am going to.
As a wanderer, my journey is endless. But there are many stops on this endless journey. I have arrived here in peace, and I continue my journey with a grateful heart.Buy me a coffee?
If you enjoyed this story, you can buy me a coffee. You don’t have to – but it means a lot and I always turn it into a new adventure.
Buy a coffee for Steve
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