Summary
A personal writing about why leaving Hungary became part of my identity, and how the division affects me, seen from the outside.
I left Hungary, this is already part of my identity.
There are things that you say once. And from then on you can’t go back.
I am a Hungarian, I will always be Hungarian. I think in Hungarian, I am a lover of the Hungarian language, I love Hungarian folk music, but I no longer live in my homeland.
A year ago I wrote my post entitled “The decision”. It included a list of the cornerstones that I put under my decision. In point 10 I said that I don’t like this country.
It was a coincidence – I was joking, I’m definitely not! – that exactly one year after the aforementioned article was written, I came across an article by Vujity Tvrtko.
This article closes a triangle in my life.
The First Corner
2024.10.16
Exactly two months before writing “The Decision”, I saw Vujity Tvrtko in person for the first time in my life at one of his lectures.
I really liked his style, his professionalism. It brought me a lot of insight. But back then I didn’t think how decisive one of his ideas would be in my life.
Tvrtko told me why he couldn’t live as a Hungarian in Hungary. He told me what made this impossible.
In the past year, several people have asked me why I don’t like my native country. At that time, I always brought up Tvrtko’s idea. The problem with this country is that if you’re not like this (here he raised one hand), then you’re like that (here he raised the other).
This means exactly what so many of us in this country don’t like. We are divided. If you don’t like the party, then you’re an enemy. There is no middle ground. The country is black and white. The two sides cannot move forward in meaningful, reasoned debates and conversations.
This determines the public mood. In my opinion, my country is suffering from a total depression on a political and social level. And I don’t want to elaborate or explain this thought of mine, because it may be professionally incorrect, but I think it misses the point.
I have been involved in conversations where – outsiders – tried to convince me that this is indeed a good country. In each case, my only argument was that as a resident there, I cannot accept this.
I don’t like this country because we cannot think together, often not even on the most basic issues.
I am publishing my opinion above only so that it is clear why I say that part of my identity is that I left the country. I neither want to start a debate nor accept counterarguments. This is about me.
If you love this country, I respect your opinion and I’m happy for your feelings.
The Second Corner
2024.12.16
I wrote my post.
With that, I internalized Tvrtko’s opinion.
The words that were said and understood were important in my decision.
The Third Corner
2025.12.22
I came across a piece by Tvrtko, which I will include in this post in its original form, along with the source.
I didn’t want to write this post before Christmas. After all, it’s only a holy holiday.
But now is the time, because – unfortunately – I agree with everything he says. Besides, Tvrtko is a much better writer than I am, so I’ll let his words speak for me.
Peaceful, happy hatred…😭🎄😭
The title is strong, I admit. With this, I would like to draw attention to something that you will soon be able to see with your own eyes, and which you can already feel on your own skin! I am writing all this from many years of experience, and I am afraid that this year will be no different…
I spent two and a half months in my country, which for me is the most beautiful country in the world. I love Hungary more than Hawaii, all of America, more than any other place in the world. And I consider its people to be one of, if not the most talented people in the world.
Wonderful people of a fantastic country, who are constantly being poisoned. Moreover, with emotions, so much tension, and a terrible public discourse. And who controls the public discourse? Well, the elected representatives, that is, the politicians! Those who are paid by the people, those who could even spread peace, tranquility and love with this money.
Let everyone decide: do they do this…
The main point of my writing is what will happen now. I am not predicting, as I indicated, I know, I say and write what is coming, and you can check my words and lines: within days, the politicians’ social media platforms will be flooded with messages accompanied by cute photos saying “I wish you a blessed, peaceful, happy Christmas!”, only to continue what has been happening so far: the belittling, scolding and discrediting of opponents! Is this honest? Is this okay? Everyone should answer for themselves…
My only comment now is: respect for the exceptions!!! For those whose voices are barely heard in the great noise!
It was shocking to experience in Hungary how some people rejoice in the failure, inefficiency, and downfall of others. Not only in mass comments, but also in edited articles, programs, and content produced for a lot of money, “journalists,” “opinion leaders,” and politicians rejoiced that “X.Y. is burning a lot!”, “Y.Z. got into someone with a pair of legs,” “X.Y.’s meeting was a terrible failure,” “The Hungarian politician humiliated Y.Z. to the point of humiliation…”
I wasn’t lazy, I checked the social media pages of a couple of Hungarian representatives: there are some who haven’t written a single word about their own plans, political promises, commitments to serve the public good, or their achievements this month; however, in dozens of posts and videos produced for a lot of money, they scolded, insulted, and disparaged their opponents (or rather, their enemies in this case). Of course, the question is naive: do people want to pay their taxes for this? I ask again: is this right?
The question is legitimate: do I have a say in this, since I have been living at the end of the world for years, writing these lines from Panama City, for example?!
My answer: partly because of the above, I moved from the country that I love the most in the world! On the other hand: as long as I am a Hungarian taxpayer (also), I feel entitled to express my opinion on what my taxes are spent on (also). By the way: I have traveled more than half of the world. There may be those who are curious about an even broader perspective, experiences, or even the peace and tranquility of Aloha. Aloha is not just a greeting. Its meaning: God’s breath…
My God, what would my country and my people be capable of if the money spent on hatred, the time wasted on it, and the nervous system consumed by it were used by the people and the leaders of society to create and grow…?! It’s a poetic question, we will never know the answer. On the other hand, we can continue to watch the “happy” joy of our politicians and some of our compatriots who applaud rude insults, rejoice in the humiliation of others, and cry for the failure of some: “Hurray, someone didn’t succeed…”
Of course, building roads, filling potholes, paying salaries is important, but it seems that we have completely forgotten about the healing power of peace. And about the destructive effect of hatred. And politicians have also “successfully” managed to make us completely ignorant of it: a democratic election is basically about parties publishing their programs, and voters deciding who to elect based on those…
And what is the end result: today, journalists are slandering journalists, actors are slandering actors, singers are slandering singers. Entire editorial teams have been created to discredit others. Professions, societies, friendships and families are trying to find out who is a sympathizer of which political force… In the eyes of many, it is no longer important who receives what award, but who receives it from. But what is the point of an election victory when families’ Sunday dinner tables are being destroyed one after another?!
A few years ago, a politician with many children fell into a coma during the coronavirus pandemic, and it was alarming to read the MASSIVE comments about how many people hoped that his condition would get even worse; and how many expressed their joy when our other politician died, because “There is one less of them…”
I could go on and on, but I won’t. One way or another: if a single drop of poison is dropped into a glass of clean water, the entire contents of the glass will be poisoned. And that poison is currently dripping continuously. So that we can now read the “Wishing you a blessed, peaceful holiday and a happy new year!” posts for a few days. And then…?! You’ll see! I wish I was wrong…
Friendly: Vujity Tvrtko
Postscript: As usual, I didn’t mention a single party or politician’s name in my post. Please don’t do it, I wrote about a societal phenomenon!
source: Facebook
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