63. | Peaceful Warrior

I met a friend of mine in the big city on Monday. We talked for a while while walking for a while. Or we walked for a while while talking for a while. But maybe the order doesn’t matter.

The conversation was about the details of our lives, and around the moment of saying goodbye, my friend asked me about a specific question if I had seen the movie The Way of the Peaceful Warrior. I remembered it that way, and I said no. I watched the movie in response to this recommendation, and I quickly realized that I had already seen it. I just didn’t remember that. Then – of course – while watching the movie, the story came back to me and after a while I already had the ending in my head. I watched it regardless, because I knew that the emphasis would be on the dialogues in the movie.

As I started watching, an interesting experiment came to mind, so I started watching it from the beginning. And I wrote down all the dialogue. I did this to see how I could relate to the ideas in the dialogues in the present. I knew that quite a few of the ideas were familiar to me for a long time, because I had heard them not only here, but many times and in many places. The interesting question for me was what I think about the ideas in the film with my current life.

The dialogues were written down in the order they appear, based on the Hungarian dubbing. There are several symbolic meanings in the film that are not best characterized by the dialogues. Or there are things to say that I cannot describe here, because then a manuscript would be written here, not a post. The film is definitely worth watching!

The film – if I can say so – starts emotionally for me from the 80th minute. From there, the touching scenes and thoughts come one after the other.

Even if the written down dialogues are not necessarily interpretable, it is still worth focusing on the real meaning. I think that the thoughts will hold their place even without knowing the film.

I wanted to write an article about how I feel nowadays. By the time I got to the end of this article, I realized that this was that writting…

The dialogues

• I know more than you think.
• You think more than you know. Knowledge is not the same as wisdom.
• Really? What’s the difference?
• You know how to clean a windshield, right?
• Yes.
• Wisdom is how you do it. (At another point in the film, a little later:) Knowledge is not the same as wisdom. You don’t have to know, you have to do it.

I have known a Zen saying since I was a child: He who talks does not know. He who knows does not talk. I have been thinking a lot about this saying lately. For now, I am still talking a lot… Doing things, doing, has now come to the fore again in my life. As I wrote in my post titled “Time management, habit tracking” yesterday, doing has now come to the fore in a natural way in my life. I simply do meditation, and I was able to add that it came into my life with natural simplicity and I have no expectations for it. I just do it. There is no goal, no right or wrong way. There is nothing I need to learn in order to do it. I simply do it. I can now extend this kind of thinking to many areas of life.

• What about the fact that I have a recurring dream in which I see these shoes?
• That you are still asleep. You can live your whole life without waking up.

As I have written many times, I am going through an awakening process. I had and have everything in me to have the life I am living now. Just think of the butterfly in my article “Butterfly or Phoenix”, which I originally intended to be titled “I Will Become a Butterfly”. My life is now guided by the idea of ​​transformation. This is a kind of awakening for me.

• This is a service. The noblest task. Service to others.

I have long known that many people consider selfless service to others to be one of the cornerstones of a truly fulfilling life. This idea is also included in the teachings of Zen, among other things. This service has been calling me for a while, but I haven’t gotten there yet. But this aspiration has been alive in me for some time. I talked about this with my younger daughter a few weeks ago. I think I will soon take the steps towards this. Maybe I should say that I won’t talk about it for long, I will just do it.

• Slow down so you can taste it!
• There’s a rule for everything, right?
• Not rules. Things life has taught me.

I have already experienced the lessons of life. And I am not talking about 49 years. In the article “My sweet suffering”, for example, I alluded to these. But I also dealt with these thoughts in my aforementioned article “Butterfly or Phoenix”. My present is very much defined by the fact that I am grateful for the lessons I have received from life. I love who I am and I can largely thank the lessons I have experienced.

• Everyone tells you what to do, what’s good for you. They don’t want you to find the answers. They want you to believe theirs. I just want you to finally get your knowledge from within yourself, not from the outside world. People are afraid of what’s inside them. And that’s where they find what they need.
• You can’t sleep. Maybe it’s because late at night, when all the noise dies down and you’re lying in your bed all alone, you get overcome by fear. Because suddenly everything is so empty.

I have many months behind me that I spent without sleep. If I look back further into the past, there have been many, many weeks in my life when I couldn’t sleep. This problem seems to have been solved for a few weeks now. I can sleep again. I see several reasons for this. I have been meditating for 5 weeks. I have been working on my body again for 5 weeks, exercising, working towards a state of healthy fatigue every day. And last but not least, I am much closer to myself now than ever before. Maybe I really am not afraid at night anymore…

• A person is not what they think, they just think. And that is the source of much bitterness.
• I am not my thoughts?
• Of course not. The mind is just a reflex organ. It reacts to everything. Millions of wandering thoughts fill our heads every day. They reveal who we are as much as a freckle on the tip of our nose.

I first heard about the creative power of thoughts a long time ago. However, my current knowledge is much stronger. I recently read a book about the functioning of the brain, recommended by my dad. At the same time, I am building my new personality, including by listening to Zen teachings. I know exactly and I can definitely feel how my own thoughts lead me astray. It is good to have this knowledge.

By the way, a few months ago, in a Mindfulness course, and then in the aforementioned book, I learned that a person has 35,000-70,000 thoughts. To be precise! The millions of thoughts in the film are a baroque exaggeration.

• The essence of life is learning to use the right effort at the right time, in the right place.

Here I am reminded of Bruce Lee’s teachings, which I read in 2022. The idea of ​​Bruce Lee’s spirituality is the teaching of the philosophy of “be water!” This means that using the fluidity, intangibility, and formlessness of water, we can become more powerful, more effective in our daily lives, and how to get closer and closer to our essential inner nature, the source of true freedom. Be water, my friend!

The other idea, in the spirit of which I have been living for quite some time, is “don’t argue with fools.” We really need to put the right effort everywhere, I completely agree with that. For the sake of proper teaching, let’s make a joke here:

– Master, what could be the secret to happiness?
– Don’t argue with idiots!
– I don’t think that’s the secret!
– You’re right, said the master…

• Yous lost your mind, you know?
• There’s a life’s work in this.
• (At another point in the film, a little later:) Sometimes you have to lose your mind to come to your senses.

Sometimes you need that slap, that kick in the gut, after which you lose your ground and can get up and move on. For me, this short dialogue symbolizes this and I can completely feel its truth. I talked about this in my writings “The Decision” and “Butterfly or Phoenix”. To change your perspective, you have to let go of something. If common sense is what you have to let go of, then so be it.

• Take out the trash, Dan. (I mean the trash in your head.) Because trash is what separates you from the only thing that matters: the present. The here and now. When you truly live in the present, you’ll be amazed at what you can do and how much you can accomplish.

The purpose of my life is to… I thought when I wrote this sentence that it would sound natural, “The purpose of my current life is to…”, but that makes no sense. This whole movie, and the whole thing I’m in, is about there being no such thing as “my current life.” I have a life. In the here and now. What was is the past. What will be is the future. I only exist in this moment.

• I want answers! I want to know where this is all going. What kind of warrior prepares for the big fight by cleaning toilets?
• A true warrior can always meditate, no matter what he’s doing. Let go of your bonds. Your pride. You’re addicted to so many things.
• And what am I addicted to?
• Talking. Interrupting all the time. Knowing everything when you know nothing.

Letting go, transformation and meditation. Recurring thoughts and actions in my life. “A Dream for a Dream”, as I wrote in my zeroth post. You have to let go of a lot of things in order to truly feel nothing. As you can read, for example, in my article “I live a minimalist life”. It’s an interesting picture for me that as I let go of more and more things in my life, I feel richer and richer.

• I just don’t have time for you.
• But there’s only now, Rom.

Yes. This is what I live. What I did today made me richer. What I didn’t do today is lost forever. I won’t do that tomorrow. Tomorrow there is one less day to do. I enjoy my days, and this is my life, and this is how I am happy. I will write about this soon in a post, which will be titled “Freedom, selfish freedom”.

• If I achieve what I want, I will be happy. Truly and forever.
  …

Wrong idea, the master didn’t even answer it in the movie. The phrase I will be happy is incomprehensible. I am happy is the only thought that is comprehensible to me. With this in mind, every minute of my life is a great part of a great day. I don’t want to be happy tomorrow. I wasn’t happy yesterday. I am now. Now, just because I put the period at the end of the sentence here.

• I don’t know what to do.
• The first thing a warrior learns is that he knows nothing.
• What’s wrong with me? I don’t cry!
• It seems you do.
• It’s so embarrassing.
• Emotions are like that. They just come and go.
• What do you do when you can’t do what you were born to do?
• Everything happens for a reason, Dan. Even this. It’s up to you to find out why.

I can resonate with very good feelings about this sentence. This is exactly the point for me. It’s not about finding out the reasons that characterized my previous life. It’s about understanding, accepting and loving everything that happens for a reason.

• Your preparation has entered a new phase. You must now find the answers within yourself.

Well, if I had to add anything to this after what I have written so far, I would not have written anything. I know for sure that everything is within me. I am not looking anywhere else these days.

Here is a promise. I will soon write a post titled “My Roots”. The ideas for the article are already in my head and I can definitely say that it will be related to this.

At this point in the story, the master sends Dan to think on the roof of a car until he discovers something really important. The guy tries many ideas, but the master is not satisfied with any of them. Finally, Dan says the following:

• There is no such thing as nothing happening. There are no average moments.
• Good! Welcome!

I’ve been a little bit ironic about myself lately. I’ve said several times in the past few days that I’ve been in such a happy state for a long time that something bad must happen soon. But I’m just kidding, I don’t believe that. Since I’ve been paying more attention to life, I’ve been finding many, many moments in every day that are exceptionally good. The best part is that I don’t need anything special to do this. Just to observe the present moment.

• We are better!
• Are we better than others because we know more, or because we live this way? Is that what you mean?
• Not better, just smarter.
• There is no such thing as better. You will never be better, just as you will never be less, never than anyone. Habit is the problem. You must always be aware that you are the one who decides. That you are responsible for your actions.

For a while now, I have not wanted to be anything. More precisely, I want to be nothing. Of course, I don’t mean this in the sense that I don’t want to exist. I have never wanted to be better than others. I am not a competitive type, I have been aware of certain limitations for a very long time. My ex-partner once said that she knew I was conceited, but that this much… I told her that I know I am conceited, and that didn’t hurt him. In certain situations, I am an unbearable prick. I am consciously arrogant with certain people. But I am at peace with that. I will just note as an interesting fact that several people who know me and to whom I have told the above conversation have reacted by saying that they don’t understand why someone would call me conceited. The specific story that my ex said the above to was not conceited either, in my opinion. Who sees what in it(me)…

• We could have died.
• It’s just a transition.
• Death?
• It’s a more radical change than puberty, but you don’t have to freak out about it.
• What the hell are you talking about?
• Death isn’t sad. The sad thing is that many people don’t know that.

I think my article “About my fears” is about exactly this.

• When you are afraid, draw your sword! Grab it and mow down everything that hinders you! Down with regrets and fears, everything that ties you to the past or the future!

I’m learning this too. I swear, if the situation calls for it, I’ll pull out that sword next time!

• A warrior is not a warrior because he gives up what he loves. But because he loves what he does. A good warrior is not perfect. He does not always win. He is not invulnerable. A good warrior is very vulnerable. That is what makes him truly brave!

I really love my life and what I do. That’s what my post “I love what I do” is about – how surprising.

Of course, that doesn’t mean I’m a warrior. That’s not what makes me a warrior. Am I vulnerable? Mortally! Have I been wounded? Yes, I don’t even count how many. Am I brave? I bravely answer that yes, I am brave. I won’t add now that there was a price for this. Sorry! I added it anyway…

• In life you have to make decisions! You can choose to be a victim, or you can choose otherwise. A warrior acts, only a fool cries.
• And if I can’t do it?
• That’s the future. Don’t think about it?
• How do I start?
• There is no beginning and end! There is only action!

I promised earlier that I would have an article titled “My Roots.” It will explain what thoughts I can contribute to this dialogue.

• Almost everyone has been through what you’ve been through. If you don’t get what you want, you suffer. If you get exactly what you wanted, you still suffer. Because then you have nothing to hold on to.

Desire, as one of the main causes of human suffering, is an essential element of Buddhism. Finding desireless desire is not an easy task. It is not even easy to interpret. I have a feeling what it means, but I cannot articulate it. I may never be able to articulate it. But that is good!

The part of the sentence that if you get what you want, you suffer is a new aspect for me. So I immediately conclude that this film brought this thought to me today. I became richer with this, this was the essence of watching the film and working so hard on this post. Thank you for the teaching! I am grateful for it!

• You don’t need a coach or a committee to do what you love.
• But you do! I want to win, I want a gold medal and I need them for that.
• Gold is worth nothing! “If I get that, I’ll be happy!” you hear yourself saying.
• That’s my dream, Sok! And I don’t think dreams are bad.
• That doesn’t mean you’re giving up on your dreams, Dan! You’re just giving up on what you never had and never will have. Control. Accept that you’re not in control of what happens to you.

I’m almost bored by how many ways the article titled “My Roots” is related to this post. Maybe I should have written that first. The flow of my thoughts is an unpredictable mystery to me too. If it turned out this way, so be it!

• Three?
• Three!
• The three rules of a warrior.
• You already know them all.
• Paradox: Life is a mystery. Don’t waste your time trying to understand it! Humor: Keep a sense of humor, especially when it comes to yourself. It gives you more strength than anything else. Change: Nothing ever stays the same!

In the Writing and Self-Awareness course, I told one of my classmates that I love it when someone tells their own difficult story with a laugh. I feel a great power in that. I have felt it myself for a long time, that the not-so-funny stories of my life became in harmony with me because I was able to add humor to them even while living them. Believe me, I didn’t laugh at the moment I recognized them! Then I learned.

The first and third rules are good and I completely agree with them.

I would add to the first one that on Women’s Day, March 8th, an idea was born in me that might be worth my approximately twenty-year-old desire to write a book. When I write my book and you read it, remember that it is related to the first rule. This was the third promise in this post. Compared to the fact that I never promised anything in the previous 63 posts, this seems quite a lot, even to me.

• The journey is what makes you happy. Not the destination. (The mountain climbing scene with the stone found on top of the mountain is very beautiful!)

I think this is such a well-known saying that many of us have it. I am also sure that most of us understand what it means. If I did not understand and experience this idea, I would not dare to admit it. I do not use smileys in my writings, but I almost put one here…

I do not want to write anything after the last dialogue, I want to leave it in the perfection that it was in the movie. Here I recommend to anyone to let that tear flow…

• Where are you Dan?
• Here!
• When is this happening?
• Now!
• And what are you?
• This moment!