There are points in all of our lives from which we cannot return to the previous states. Practically, our entire life consists of such points, but now I am thinking about this matter on a less philosophical level. I thought I would commemorate the truly fate-changing points here.
The unforeseen fate-changing points
Here I am thinking of fate points that gain meaning in retrospect.
There are some that remain forever. For example, a photo of the four of us as a family. When this picture was taken in Greece, I did not think that this would be our last picture together. Last year, at a wedding exhibition, I took one of these “I didn’t know at the time that this was the last” pictures.
Then there are those last ones that I don’t remember. I don’t know when the last kisses were. What were the last words my grandfather and I had…
Of course, there are moments that will remain forever dear and never come back. For example, I can no longer jump out of a plane on the first try, and I can no longer call the experience of freefall unknown. I can no longer relive the birth of my first child and holding it in my arms. Nor the second, which was just as sublime a feeling as the first. I am very grateful to fate that I was able to see the birth of both my daughters and almost immediately hold them in my arms… But I can no longer relive the moment when I realized what it means to be a father. For example, I immediately understood that my life had changed forever.
The turning points that were not understood at the time
As graduation approached, we knew that our lives would change. But I think we only understood what in what way later.
So there are points that we prepare for, but when we reach them they don’t have any weight yet, it’s not entirely clear what has changed. I think I could find both positive and negative examples here, but I’ll leave that for now. It’s much better if everyone finds one for themselves, just for the experience.
What’s in front of me now?
I’m experiencing it as a great experience that I’m now moving towards a point of no return, knowing exactly when it will happen and what will change.
My decision to live elsewhere has been on the table for more than four months. I’ve done a lot to make this dream come true. But, everything that’s happened so far can still be stopped now. I could even pretend that nothing happened. Well, I have a paid cruise, a Vasco translation machine, and about 86,000 words that I’ve sighed into the wilderness. Still, if I wake up tomorrow and say “sorry, but no”, then Friday will continue as if nothing had happened.
However, in 11 days I’ll quit my job. My life will change forever then and there. From there I can no longer act as if nothing had happened. There will be no turning back.
The most beautiful thing in my entire life right now is that the seriousness of this decision, this point, does not cause me even a shred of doubt that I will do this. I have no worries about how it will be from now on. I trust myself and I trust in the success of the path I have chosen.
And if fate brings it about that it does not work out, then I will choose another path for myself!