If someone only reads this one post, they should have a handle on what happened to me there.

On the one hand:

I meditated for about 30 hours.

I sliced ​​up about 400 kg of vegetables.

I ate vegetarian food.

I got up early, went to bed early.

I didn’t use the internet.

I didn’t wear shoes.

I was cold a lot.

My body suffered.

On the other hand:

Jenő Rejtő came to mind. With his book “I’m Going to Paris, Because I Haven’t Died There Yet”.

So nothing special happened here.

The post 227. | So, what happened here? Summary II. first appeared on Digital Nomad Blog.

OK! I failed. I didn’t concentrate enough. These things happen…

So I’ll tell you what I didn’t have for 10 days.

• I didn’t have internet.
• But I had 100% attention.

• I had no connection to the outside world.
• But I had an unprecedented connection with myself.

• For 5 days, not many words left my mouth.
• On the other hand, in the previous 46 years, there were a lot. I still have a lot to sacrifice on the altar of silence. No kidding! It felt really good to be speechless for whole days.

• I didn’t use my laptop for 9 days.
• So I had the opportunity to write by hand like I used to. I wrote the entire Wat Pa Tam Wua diary by hand on my paper tablet. Moreover, after a few days, I returned to my childhood habit of WRITE EVERYTHING IN CAPITAL LETTERS. It was a magical experience to come back here!

• I didn’t have dinner.
• But there was proof that eating twice a day is enough. (I’ve known this for sure since Koh Samui.)

• I didn’t eat meat for 10 days.
• But I can say that I lived on vegetarian food for 10 days without interruption.

• I didn’t have a soft bed.
• But I had the opportunity to remind myself every time I woke up and turned over that I was harder than the bed.

• I didn’t have shoes on for 10 days.
• All I can add to that is that it was freedom level 2.

• For 10 days, I didn’t do my little important things after 10 pm.
• But I got back an exercise that I had lost for 36-37 years. It was a gift.

• I lived in a closed area for 10 days.
• In return, I got so much visual experience that 10 hours wouldn’t be enough to show you everything.

• I drank very little coffee for 10 days.
• I had the opportunity to taste even more tea.

• I lived in a very monotonous squirrel wheel for 10 days.
• I got enough experiences, memories and experiences for years in exchange for the time spent with routine.

I have already decided whether the “wasn’t” or the “was” side is the “real” one.

The post 226. | It wasn’t there for 10 days and yet it was there. Summary I. first appeared on Digital Nomad Blog.

Let me add another post, because the last few hours were nice too.

The day started as usual. Kitchen, breakfast offering, breakfast, then the 3 types of meditation exercises.

Then I packed my things. It took me 3 minutes to do this. LOL.

I also participated in the lunch offering, as I also ate my last lunch.

I said goodbye to my new friends. I will see Vlad soon. Also Natasha, with whom we hugged each other despite the ban. There was a 67-year-old Californian man in our room, who said goodbye to me by saying that he would miss my smile. These were moments that warmed my heart.

Then I started to open up to the world.

I turned on the internet. 455 emails, 56 Facebook and 56 WhatsApp messages awaited me.

While I was reading these, already in civilian clothes, a woman working at the reception asked me to show one of the newly arrived young girls around and show her the temple. This was a very natural and honorable request.

As a farewell, I was given a necklace as a souvenir of my visit to the temple. I accepted it with a grateful heart and wore it for 2 days. Despite my joy, I was already thinking about what its fate would be, because I certainly would not keep it. Three days later I found its new owner, but I will write about this again in due time.

At 1:30 PM, the vehicle that took me from the temple, back to Mae Hong Son, left.

I left the temple, but it did not leave me.

The post 225. | 10 days barefoot 11: the last hours first appeared on Digital Nomad Blog.

It happened that one of my roommates, Vlad (yes, he also mentioned Count Dracula), spoke to me. As he later said, he sensed something interesting in me even in the silence.

So we talked a little then. Then a few times during the day. And in the days and nights that have passed since then, we have had a few philosophical conversations. Philosophical in the full sense of the word. We may even have a trip together.

Then it will be figured away.

Just in case, I took off the “SILENT” badge the next day.

Actually, I kept this badge as an option. If such deep (high) thoughts come to me that need silence, then I use this option. If there are no such thoughts, then there is no need for it.

The time came when I said: the silence is over.

Of course, this had its results.

New relationships were formed immediately.

I met several great people in two days. Tuesday was quiet, though.

Of course, a few of the conversations ended with us being talked about, and rightly so.

It was worth it. On Wednesday, after lunch, we had a great time with a small group of people at one of the outdoor benches. There was a lot of laughter, stories, and good humor around the otherwise quiet table.

We covered the “Silent table” sign with a scarf. I think that was the secret.

A Russian girl invited me to do afternoon volunteer work together. She came up with the idea of ​​sweeping leaves from the meditation path in the forest on the mountain. While we were doing this and talking a lot, I found myself saying that this is the perfect Zen job.

If I look at it from the perspective of how rational it is to sweep leaves from the path in an autumn forest full of falling leaves, the answer is clear.

But if I ask the question how sublime it was to create a change that was visible for a short time – I can say, for the moment – in the ever-changing forest, my answer will be different. And my feeling will be different too.

The next day, the same girl and I repaired the old, torn chanting books.

On Tuesday afternoon, I took a long walk and took a lot of pictures. Vlad is a photo artist, he told me a lot of stories, so on this lonely walk I experimented with quite a few new things.

Starting the day in the kitchen

Maybe on the morning of the 3rd day I went to the kitchen for the first time. Since then I start every day there, and for a few days I am usually the first or second to get there.

I have chopped all kinds of vegetables. In industrial quantities.

With blunt knives. So since the day before yesterday I have two wounds on one of my fingers. The knife broke it.

Yesterday in the forest, as a result of a careless step, a stone cut the skin on my left sole.

This at least created a symmetry between the two sides, and every step hurts. That is not a problem now. Another pain really fit loosely in the package.

With this morning work in the kitchen, the entire framework of my days was formed. It was very good to live like this.

Nothing new, just the framework

This is how my days at the temple were put together. I trust that I managed to show the time spent here the way I saw it.

I am glad you were here with me in my imagination.

I wish you to have this or similar experiences in your life.

I was not looking for anything in this church. Yet I feel like I have found exactly what was meant for me.

The post 224. | 10 days barefoot 10: the last two full days first appeared on Digital Nomad Blog.

Summary

This article is full of sentences that suggest uncertainty in its wording. But I have no uncertainty at all, I really felt what was happening today!

Of course, there was no breakthrough, because I had neither been to war nor faced any physical obstacles. Although, the latter may be an option after all…

But I didn’t break through anything either, because wherever I get to, it’s just a momentary state, not a merit acquired forever.

In any case, that’s the title of this post, because I couldn’t find a better expression right now.

Yesterday, in connection with my meditation experiences, I wrote about the physical torments that have surrounded my days these days.

So – here’s what happened!

First of all, yesterday at 9:30 PM I was already in my bed, in a sleeping position. It’s true that I couldn’t fall asleep for two hours (I wasn’t tired), but I didn’t give up.

That’s not what’s interesting. It’s more that until I fell asleep, I had time to wonder how I could barely find an uncomfortable position. The bed was comfortable!

This is a milestone, an achievement, but I could even call it a breakthrough.

5:00 in the morning found me in the kitchen, from there I just went in to offer breakfast. From there comes breakfast, and soon the walking meditation.

Which was a particularly great experience today. If there was a concept of a successful meditation, this would have been something like that. But since there is no good or bad, successful or unsuccessful, I will put it differently.

It filled me with a very good feeling that I managed to maintain a very conscious concentration for almost the entire hour. Time does not play a role. Nor does the degree of concentration. I was rather just happy that I fell out of concentration a few times.

The sitting meditation after this gave me another outstanding experience. On the one hand, it was very easy physically. I sat for 40 minutes without any problems with my legs crossed and my back straight.

Today I experienced a level of presence that I have never experienced before, and that I will definitely write about later.

All I can say is that today I discovered a tool of awareness that makes it very easy for me to concentrate on the present.

The lying meditation after that was a “reward game”. The time almost flew by, the presence was so easy.

All in all – by the time we finished it was only 10 o’clock – I already had my dose of happiness for today.

And today – I don’t know and I don’t care why – I felt very proud of myself.

It’s good to write! Because now, with these lines, I am working at my limits.

My last sentence has simply been born.

It seems that today is the day when I allow myself to be proud of myself. With all my heart!

Postscript:

I can’t stop myself from writing:

There were fireworks today!

Today is the first day of the Chinese New Year, so we listened to the explosions and crackles of fireworks during our evening meditation.

I Wish You a Happy New Year!

The post 223. | 10 days barefoot 9: breakthrough first appeared on Digital Nomad Blog.

But I skipped yesterday too. And the way I feel, I don’t want to chant anymore. Three evenings was more than enough for me for a while. Maybe forever?

However, if I skip this, the evening meditation will automatically be skipped. Maybe I’ll cheat today. I’ll take my paper tablet, put it in the chanting book and read my own book. I would do that in my room anyway, without being put in a chanting book.

That’s it. With all due respect, chanting is not for me, reading is. The book I’m reading right now is about Stoicism, a work by Seneca. This fact may make my sin excusable.

But with this decision, I can now draw numbers. I have completed 13 meditation sessions and have a maximum of 12 more to go.

I already have more meditation sessions behind me than before me.

Walking meditation

The first form of meditation in the morning is walking meditation. This very slow walk (today 1.8 km, 52 minutes) uses 100% of the leg muscles. I don’t feel the effect of walking barefoot, but I feel that this slow step uses my ankles more than normal walking.

I try to focus on two things while walking, my breathing and my posture. These are good focal points. I usually manage to keep my back straight for a long time. And then again and again. But this is not my basic posture, so my back hurts from being straight so much.

Luckily, my lungs don’t hurt from observing my breathing.

Sitting meditation

For me, this is a real challenge. Lotus, small lotus, Burmese, Turkish sit-ups…

Even things that are not in the category of impossible for me are actually uncomfortable, such as the lotus position. It would be completely unnecessary for me to force myself to do this, I would need a doctor in the end. Or a priest.

You can’t sit with your legs stretched out. Then your feet would be pointing towards the Buddha statues, and that’s forbidden. It’s not like I could stand it with my legs stretched out like that for 40-45 minutes…

So I came to the conclusion that sitting meditation – now – is a continuous struggle for me. It’s a struggle against the pain in my body for the sake of mental concentration. During a 20-minute meditation, I have to start concentrating again and again many times. This is how sitting meditation now becomes a very serious tool for practice.

There is another option. This is using a chair. I use this during my evening meditations. It’s more comfortable than without it, but the pain is still there in the evening, the chair doesn’t relieve it.

Laying down meditation

We do this in the morning and during the day. The other two are after meditation exercises.

After all the physical pain, lying on our backs is a pleasure.

And although many people fall asleep during it – you can hear snoring from several directions – this type of meditation is not about rest either. You have to concentrate here too. Moreover, much harder than in the case of sitting meditation, because – based on my experience – as soon as concentration ceases, I immediately fall asleep.

In other words, this type of practice also has a very serious meaning and role.

Concentration keeps you awake. It is a difficult, but not impossible task.

And it gives me great satisfaction when I hear other people’s snoring, and not when I wake up to my own.

The reason for my satisfaction here is that I have won. Not over others, but over myself.

Practice, practice, practice

To summarize the thoughts of this and previous posts about meditation:

Here we are not diving headlong into the sciences, but into the practices.

In a few days, we can become meditation practitioners who can continue our meditation journey with serious practical experience.

The post 222. | 10 days barefoot 8: meditation experiences first appeared on Digital Nomad Blog.

Summary

This writing is not about the church. And it is not about the people. It is about the pain I felt inside myself. It hurts when the space that could take me forward becomes a playground.

When I told one of my friends that I wanted to stay silent for 10 days, he said that it wouldn’t work for me.

No way, he knows me well!

But he also knows that if I wanted to, I would do it.

I’ve been silent for four days and I’ve said very little.

If I wanted to spend this time in complete silence, it wouldn’t have been a problem. But sometimes it’s easier to help a friend – who is watching my “SILENT” badge – so that he doesn’t have to Activytize the sentence “What a beautiful day we have, and I’m glad to see you” for me.

Simpler structures such as “Hello”, “I’m grateful for your help”, “Thank you” can be expressed well with a Wai, or a palm over the heart. If there’s a smiley face, we even put an exclamation point at the end of the sentence.

The silence sign really works well in excluding me from the conversation. This gave me a great opportunity to practice mindfulness.

I don’t know why, but I’ve been thinking a little bit about my next tattoo. Do you have any idea what I’m thinking?

Who does it work for?

I often feel like I could put another sign in front of every thought I have. That one that says “I might be wrong!”

But if I were that insecure, maybe it would be better if I didn’t write it at all. On the other hand, let me just say sometimes: I only express my subjective opinion, I don’t write general truths.

So, “I might be wrong!”

What I want to write about now reminds me of something: “I might be wrong!”

And the topic requires me to also write that “I might be wrong!”

The question arose in my mind: who is this place good for and who is not?

Thoughts are swirling inside me. I tried to figure out in what order to write them, where to draw the boundaries of my respect, where to be joking, where to be serious? I couldn’t find the right form.

So I decided to make a list and see if I need to say anything more.

Who is this place not for?

• For people seeking solutions to their life’s problems, seeking secrets and recipes.
• For those who have the thought “I’ll learn to meditate well here and now.”
• For those seeking spiritual transformation. (I’m not 100% sure about this.)
• For those who are committed to finding happiness.

Who is this place good for?

• For selfie queens and bearded Jesus princes staring at the sunset.
• For those who want to learn about the Thai custom of offering food.
• For those who want to try silence.
• For beginners who are getting to know volunteer work.
• For those (newbies) looking for a space to practice meditation.

In general, I think that the church is completely sincere in its message: I welcome everyone with love!

It cannot even add that “there will definitely be a reward for those who come unnecessarily.”

(I may be wrong! I may be wrong! I may be wrong!)

I think that the only way to take something from here is to put something down in return.

Either you put it down here, or you have already put it down before, but if you don’t give anything, you won’t get anything here either. Or – otherwise – you will get nothing.

The ego and this place, for example, are not friends. No one will say anything if you are the only one in a red, cute T-shirt among many people in white. No one threatens that you will have nothing. If you come here like this, you most likely don’t know yet where to bend down for the treasure.

Despite its silence, this place could be a stronghold of loving connection. In my experience, the majority (usually they don’t do volunteer work anyway) don’t appreciate even the most basic forms of courtesy. Letting women go first, waving a man in line, offering water at lunch, smiling when sitting at a common table, or accepting or indicating a good appetite…

I feel that the ego-driven majority does not yet understand (I’m afraid it will never understand) that this place would be an excellent practice space for risk-free attachments, since we are in a special space.

Together. Equal and more equal.

I don’t want to focus anymore on ego-driven selfie queens, everyone knows them, they are everywhere.

Only one slice of Thai culture is really shown here, this is the offering of food.

It is not the technique of meditation that is given here, but the opportunity.

I don’t think this place is suitable for spiritual transformation. If something brings the pupa about to transform here and the butterfly emerges here, it won’t be because of the place. But I could be wrong.

Likewise, the temple is not suitable for religious transformation. We get little from Buddhism, but I’m already saying that this is not a shortage. The purpose of this place is to welcome interested tourists with immeasurable kindness.

If you want to be a Theravada Thai forest Buddhist monk, then you should go to a more suitable temple.

Happiness will not find you here either. Unless you came to date/date, because despite the temple atmosphere, traces of this can be constantly felt.

Returning to happiness: Buddhism, as I heard from today’s first dharma talk, does not strive for happiness. That is, unless you find it yourself, no one will show you the way here.

Good advice for life. I experienced yesterday that we receive the best teachings when something comes quietly in a half-sentence.

When life advice comes, I feel two problems. On the one hand, most people have heard it many times, but have never understood it. On the other hand, this advice always shines as the secret of secrets, meaning that its existence is completely contrary to its essence.

Chen can really be practiced. The form of volunteering without the Internet that I have chosen is not fashionable. Everyone is busy with their phones. This morning I saw a guy who was on the phone in line waiting for the food offering. No one forbids this. The question inside me is quiet, old man, why are you here?

Finally, volunteer work. It seems that the majority do not want to get their hands dirty. I think those of us who do it are serious. However, I cannot ignore the fact that this work is a selfless act done for a volunteer space-occupying company.

For me, “real” volunteer work means helping people who are not voluntary space-occupiers. Homeless, war victims, orphans, the dying, the mentally ill, etc.

It means something to me where a higher form of altruism appears.

So, by the end, I feel like I said it right. Quite a few negative things have slipped out of my hands. But I could be wrong.

Maybe it wasn’t just me who asked the question:

Why am I staying?

The post 220. | 10 days barefoot 6: it works with few words first appeared on Digital Nomad Blog.

My body hurts

Common prayer

Our Father, who art in heaven…

The joint work

The end of today

The post 219. | 10 days barefoot 5: body pain and common prayers first appeared on Digital Nomad Blog.

The bell rang. Or rather, its more urgent end. I quickly jumped into my white robe and within 1 minute I was downstairs in the main hall. I was given a really tiny rice to offer. It was so small that it was really difficult to divide it into four parts with a sleepy head.

Of course, there were 5 monks today. So, when – at the last moment – I noticed that there was a problem, I had to divide the last pile into two parts. So I offered 5 grains of rice to the last two monks.

Walking meditation

Today it turned out that I was the first civilian in the long line of 150 people after the two monks. The walk today was a completely different experience than yesterday because of this. I was able to concentrate differently, with two more experienced feet walking ahead of me.

45 minutes is a very long time. Concentration is interrupted many times during the process.

My realization today was not to take what I am thinking too seriously. Not to transform what I feel, what comes and goes in my head, into thoughts.

The best thing right now is if nothing happens.

Expectations

I arrived here without expectations anyway. Of course I couldn’t rule out my ideas. And I calmly confronted myself with the fact that almost nothing was in line with my ideas. Of course, that’s not a problem at all.

I thought that if I really came here without expectations, they would have hung one or two on my neck right away.

On the first day, right when I was taking the tour, the lady told me where the buffet was. I told her that while I was here, I didn’t want to eat anything other than what was given to me. (I’ve been at the buffet every night since the 3rd or 4th night, I’ll write about that later…) Maybe that would be enough, she said.

I don’t think that was her intention, but she could have planted doubt in my mind. Will two meals be enough? What if I get hungry in the evening?

In any case, I recognized the first thought attack. Uncertainty.

The second wave came right away. I say it again, I’m sure the lady didn’t mean it badly.

But continuing with the food, I think she also wanted to validate that eating 2 meals a day would be enough, because she said that my body would slow down around the 5th day.

With that, another attack came. I didn’t ask for it, but I was given an expectation. Which if I were sensitive to, or to put it another way: which if I accepted, I could easily be disappointed.

Let’s see!

A woman who seemed experienced (I actually have no idea who she is or how long she’s been here, all I know is that she accepted me) said that my body would slow down on the 5th day.

Not a conditional, not a question, not on the fourth and not on the sixth.

But what if my body is already slow? Or will it only slow down on the ninth day? Or never. What if it speeds up?

I didn’t write all this against the lady. She said what she wanted to say as an introduction. This part was about my realization of how much expectations make my life difficult.

Whether they come from outside or I give them to myself.

My sweet diary!

I’m through the first half of my second full day.

Today I’ve meditated three times, eaten twice, and written down my thoughts about an important realization for me.

This day has been very beautiful so far, and there’s still half of it left.

If I have anything else to write about today, I’ll do it in the next post.

Postscript:

Of course there was something to write about!

The post 218. | 10 days barefoot 4: come experience first appeared on Digital Nomad Blog.

Breakfast rice offering

The morning walking meditation

My first realization here

Today’s Dharma Talk

1. Buddhism: about three of us raised our hands.
2. Meditation: as far as I can tell, no one showed up.
3. Life Advice: about 150 hands went up.

Guess what’s important to you,

and let go of the rest of the unnecessary things!

The post 217. | 10 days barefoot 3: the first full day first appeared on Digital Nomad Blog.