4. | The decision

My journey is rooted in daydreaming.

Since I was a child, I have imagined countless times that I live on the shore of an ocean, fishing for food. Inspired by Gerald Durell’s books, I also have another dream in which I travel to the most beautiful places in the world as an amateur naturalist. Well, today I’m sure I won’t be a fisherman or an amateur naturalist.

However, I can still be a traveler, or, as we say these days: a digital nomad. I’ll write the tale in which the eldest son rides the waves of the internet and sets off across the seven seas to find his dreams.

My life is not a fairy tale, of course. It is simply life with its joys and sorrows, which has been given to so many of us in this diverse form. My path was also forged in a cataclysm. I believe, because I have learned and experienced, that development and progress are most often the result of cataclysms.

My world – so far – has been crushed into empty sentences by three earthquakes. The second was the turning point. That’s when I started learning about myself, living at peace with myself. There’s a fashionable terminology for that too: that’s when I started self-development.

Of course, that’s when I met the two people who, with their own fairy tale, started the slow growth process in me, which took off almost exactly seven years later. On 17.11.2017, I attended Zita Zárug and Árpád Harkányi’s lecture: How to travel the world on 3533 forints a day? (Approximately 12 USD at that time.) I immediately read their book. I wanted to travel the world even then. In the summer of 2024, the escape plan resurfaced.

But fate gave me a few more months to finally make my decision at the end of November 2024.

Before anyone asks, I have to tell you one more important thing. I’m not leaving my country because of the loved woman! On the contrary: she was the only one who would have made me stay here forever.

One of the most important things you need to know to travel the world and start a digital nomad lifestyle is to make a decision.

In November 2024, I decided that over the next few months I would decide for myself whether I wanted to go or stay. I immediately started thinking about it, and more importantly, I instinctively started planning. After two days of planning, I realized that I was up to my neck in this, and I didn’t have to decide because it was already decided. I was leaving.

The foundation stones

Every decision in my life has to be based on a foundation. I realized very quickly that the stars in the sky are aligned in an incredible way. It seems that the past seven years have prepared me, shaped me, to be able to make this decision easily. I recommend that in a similar situation, you also clean up those foundation stones so that your structure can stand securely on them.

1) My daughters.

I have two beautiful daughters. As a result of the second earthquake, my now twenty-year-old chicken has been living with me for seven years. Last year, she lived in an apartment in the capital while she was attending university there. She didn’t like the city or the university. She came home to Győr, is now a university student here and lives here in our apartment. She studies hard, works, has a cool boyfriend. I can see the path she’s taken. My younger daughter lives with her mother. She just had her prom at the end of November. As I watched the show, I felt very warm feelings. She’s in a good place too. She’s surrounded by good people. Her boyfriend is cool too. Her school is protective, and she is very goal-oriented, knowing where she wants to continue her education. I felt then that she was also on her own path. It was a coincidence that the third earthquake came into my life the next day.

2) Home.

After my family broke up, I searched for home for years. By the time I found it, I had lost it. Today I know that my home is where my partner is waiting for me every day, who wants to dream with me and wake up with me in the morning. Someone I can hug, kiss without fear, and tell her I love you every day. We haven’t been able to create this home yet. I have to start over. Why can’t I do it in another part of the world?

3) Homesickness.

I am forty-nine years old and have lived in twenty-one houses so far. I have not spent more than ten years in any one settlement. My current city, Győr, was equal to the woman I love, this city no longer calls me. I will never live there again. I cannot say where I belong. There is no settlement where I have lived so far that I would like to go back there. I have no attachment to any place. Just as I could go to live in Békéscsaba or Sopron now, I could also go to, say, Egypt. I might even draw a card for that particular twenty-one…

4) Objects.

During my divorce – even if only for a few months – I gave up everything that was important to me: a house, appliances, books. I had nothing. There were a few trees on my plot, all of which I planted. I said goodbye to each one with a word and a touch. I experienced having nothing. During the rebuilding of my life, I got an apartment again, a car, one thousand books and many things that I love, but for years I have thought I could leave in a moment. For seven years, I have lived my life in a comfortable and friendly room, around a table and a bed. I moved out of my partner’s house with a laptop bag and a bag of clothes. Now I am sitting at a table writing these lines. The bed is waiting behind me. In the bathroom, I have all my toiletries on the tap. Not because the tap is big. My toothbrush, razor and deo stift fit in a space the size of two palms. There is no object that can hold me back. I don’t have to carry almost anything with me. A bed and a table will be waiting everywhere, the rest doesn’t matter now.

5) Family.

One of the hardest nuts to crack. I have a loving and friendly family. Everyone understands my decision and can even support my courage. My younger daughter told me “Dad, this won’t be good because we’ll hardly see each other.” I told her that I’m happy to see the two of them on their own path. On a path that is clearly good for them. In a significant way, I like their path too. And I would love to watch their happiness from the neighbor’s side, but our path is no longer the same. And I can’t stay and watch this miracle from the neighbor’s side. I will watch it with great happiness even from a distance of a few thousand kilometers. To Mom’s fear that we will rarely be able to hug each other, I said that the world is not such a big place that distance is an obstacle. We will hug each other less, but I won’t go to nowhere. I will only be a few hours away…

6) Assets.

I have an apartment that I gave to my daughter months ago. I have a beloved car. (Toyota Corolla Sedan 1.6 Active LED Trend+.) I will keep my apartment, along with my citizenship, in Hungary. I will sell my car, the price of which will be the reserve in my pocket when I leave. I am leaving so that whatever remains in Hungary remains here for my daughters, and it is my job to finance part of my journey. So I am not burning any bridges, but I am not holding the bridgehead for myself, but for my blood.

7) Money.

I have already decided that I am going. I will find out where and what I will do there in the coming months. I know that the concrete idea will soon appeal to me. I have Hungarian jobs that cover part of my Hungarian expenses. I am not starting this journey for money, wealth or fame, but to achieve my dreams. I like to work, I am sure that it will be no problem to find someone who would like to apply my knowledge.

8) Friends.

I left my biggest asset after my family at the end of the list. I have extraordinary friends. People I love, and who can say that they love me. Who I can ask for help and support from at any time, and who can count on me at any time. Guys, I love you, but I can’t stay because of you either. I have to go! We all know that we won’t lose each other!

9) Hobby.

My hobby is nature walks. Do I need to say more about that?

10) Hungary.

For a few years now, I’ve been thinking that it’s not good here. I don’t like the mentality that says if you’re not like this, then that’s it. There’s no alternative. I want to live in a country where not one out of ten people, but six or seven, smile back at me. Where most human relationships are guided by friendship, honesty, and mutual respect. I try to be Hungarian outside of Hungary, maybe somewhere else I can be proud that I was born Hungarian.

I want to see the world. He won’t come here, so I have to go to him. I’ll find the next table, the next bed, and while I’m living my dreams, I’ll find my home someday… Maybe I’ll visit several countries, until one of them whispers to me: “Dream your last dream here!”