The meaning of some expressions has changed in my world.
Good, bad, happiness, sadness, satiety, hunger… They have become closer to each other.
I wrote about this in my post “I hear differently”.
Now, however, I have taken up an expression whose duality I do not deal with.
“Letting go”.
This word itself has been questioned in me over the past year and a half.
My experiences show something different from how we use this expression.
Harmful to health
“Synchronicity, coincidences, flow.” I wrote this post 557 days ago. These three experiences have been an exciting and wonderful part of my life ever since – on a daily basis. They often greet me by falling into each other’s arms.
So I wasn’t surprised that when I wrote this post in my plans weeks ago, a few days later I came across an article.
The quoted article by Todorovits Rea (I’ve already referred to it a few times) is available here, if you’re interested.
I’ll just quote the first sentence from him now, because it says exactly what I think about this issue:
One of the most dangerous lies that thousands of people swallow every day today is: “Just let go.”
Letting go of problems. Letting go of the past. Letting go of relationships.
I don’t believe this.
Why not?
Maybe because of what I wrote in the post “My sweet suffering” written 554 days ago. An interesting twist in my writings is that I quoted Rea in this post as well. LOL.
In that post, I wrote about loving my own traumas, pains, and failures. No, not primarily because they have hardened me. Much more because they play a big role in who I am today.
I love myself and I love my life. Very much. And I am not at all sure that without them my life would be what it is now. And that is why I love them too.
However, today I am not only aware that I love these dark-robed teaching masters.
Today I can clearly see and feel that these assessments have been integrated in me.
I have learned to be happy with these feelings living within me. I could not even imagine my life without them. Not only because I love them and respect their role. But because it is simply impossible.
As Rea puts it, the things we experience are not like a coat that we throw off in the hallway at night.
On the other hand, I am not talking about acceptance. Yes, it probably starts with accepting. And this is naturally preceded by grief. However, integration is much more than that.
Beyond acceptance, there is a level in me where – although they are present – I no longer leave room for these feelings. From time to time, these memories, pains, feelings appear.
Letting go in my eyes is like trying to put out the fire all the time. Integration is like teaching the fire that it can burn in water.
My eyes
Mom mourned to me a little the other day.
She said that in my last photo, everything is visible in my eyes. Happiness, pain, and the experience of a lifetime.
I have no doubt that it is.
I just hope that they show what I experience happily every minute.
The happiness of the present is perhaps much brighter than the pain of the past!
Buy me a coffee?
If you enjoyed this story, you can buy me a coffee. You don’t have to – but it means a lot and I always turn it into a new adventure.
Buy a coffee for Steve
Linktree
Short introduction