When I started writing this, I was on my 5th day, my 4th full day.
I didn’t even consider for a minute whether I would stay for the whole time. I officially announced this yesterday. After all, everyone is registered for a maximum of 5 days upon arrival, and then their stay must be extended.
So, for me, there was no doubt whether I would stay.
The question now came from the imagined outside, not from the inside. If I wrote so many “negatives” about this place, then what is keeping me here, anyone might ask.
I will try to answer this unspoken question today.
In other words: in the previous post, I looked at how I see the situation of a group of people here from the outside. In contrast, today I am writing about how I feel about my own hospitality.
What does this forest temple give me?
I really like the way this place draws a framework around my days. Getting up at 5, turning off the lights at 10 is something I wouldn’t have started on my own.
Now this is an opportunity to try out this framework, along with all its daytime activities.
The military order that you get in a temple. What a strange game this is for my life.
It’s also absolutely certain that I wouldn’t spend 4-4.5 hours a day practicing meditation anywhere else. I certainly wouldn’t torture my body with such great enthusiasm. The one or two never-ending half-hour sitting meditations at home would end in 5 minutes.
Here I get the opportunity to function on two vegetarian meals a day. I’m not sure I would have tried these two options at home at the same time.
To not use the internet for ten days? This would not have happened anywhere without this dedicated retreat. What kind of determination would have led me to do this on a normal weekday?
I really like this square root minimalism. Ten days barefoot, supported by undergarments, not even having to unpack that little from my backpack. Amazing.
What does the church want?
I stay even if I’m cold as a dog in the morning. These mornings remind me of the beautiful autumn mornings of 35 years ago. Back then, I still walked everywhere and inexplicably loved the morning chills.
I still love them now.
I stay even if the bed is slowly crushing my body into a cube. The all-night game of “where hurts less” helps me position my humble life.
I stay even if I can only pour myself one coffee a day, and that only before six. After that, there’s no more.
I stay even if some of the frequently changing roommates don’t even have a basic idea of what the “Don’t make noise in the room!” sign means. These people are excellent at testing my patience.
The environment is beautiful. If nothing else spoke in favor of the place, it would be worth staying.
I hope it’s clear that this fabulous place is about more than that for me.
What can I bring with me?
I’m halfway through my stay here, so I don’t need to pack yet. But I have a few things already prepared next to the closet that I just need to grab if I want.
These are not vows. More like playful experiments.
- Daily meditation, in three different ways.
- A normal framework for the day.
- No phone in the morning and evening.
- Vegetarian days/weeks.
- 1-2 nights a week on the floor.
- Practicing a seated meditation pose.
- Reading, internet-free days, say once a month.
I can imagine the continuation of the experiences I’ve had here and their combinations in my life in quite creative ways.
Photos, videos
Today – the fifth day – I turned on my phone. I hadn’t seen it before. I was a little nervous whether it would still be willing to leave after 120 hours of sleep or if it would just turn on me in its resentment.
It did. And I turned off the internet as quickly as I could. (Next time I’ll turn off the internet before turning off the phone.)
No one asked me to stay off the internet. But since I came here with this intention, I’m keeping it for myself. No messages, no messages.
The only reason I turned on my phone was because I wanted to take pictures and videos. And I didn’t want to leave that for the last day.
That reminds me, I almost forgot!
Another reason why I’m staying here is because this place can give me a ton of photos and videos. LOL.
Nothing happens
I came here with the thought that I have no expectations, no ideas. Damn! What a stupid contradiction this is…
It’s okay if nothing happens. Maybe it’s best for me if nothing happens. I don’t expect any insights, solutions, new questions.
No fireworks.
Now I’ll put aside the questions “What can I take with me?”, “What will it give me?”
Don’t give anything! It’ll be fine anyway!
Buy me a coffee?
If you enjoyed this story, you can buy me a coffee. You don’t have to – but it means a lot and I always turn it into a new adventure.
Buy a coffee for Steve
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