I already have more meditation sessions behind me than before. The day before yesterday I skipped the evening chanting and with it the evening meditation. I thought I would skip one, then move on.
But I skipped yesterday too. And the way I feel, I don’t want to chant anymore. Three evenings was more than enough for me for a while. Maybe forever?
However, if I skip this, the evening meditation will automatically be skipped. Maybe I’ll cheat today. I’ll take my paper tablet, put it in the chanting book and read my own book. I would do that in my room anyway, without being put in a chanting book.
That’s it. With all due respect, chanting is not for me, reading is. The book I’m reading right now is about Stoicism, a work by Seneca. This fact may make my sin excusable.
But with this decision, I can now draw numbers. I have completed 13 meditation sessions and have a maximum of 12 more to go.
I already have more meditation sessions behind me than before me.
Walking meditation
The first form of meditation in the morning is walking meditation. This very slow walk (today 1.8 km, 52 minutes) uses 100% of the leg muscles. I don’t feel the effect of walking barefoot, but I feel that this slow step uses my ankles more than normal walking.
I try to focus on two things while walking, my breathing and my posture. These are good focal points. I usually manage to keep my back straight for a long time. And then again and again. But this is not my basic posture, so my back hurts from being straight so much.
Luckily, my lungs don’t hurt from observing my breathing.
Sitting meditation
For me, this is a real challenge. Lotus, small lotus, Burmese, Turkish sit-ups…
Even things that are not in the category of impossible for me are actually uncomfortable, such as the lotus position. It would be completely unnecessary for me to force myself to do this, I would need a doctor in the end. Or a priest.
You can’t sit with your legs stretched out. Then your feet would be pointing towards the Buddha statues, and that’s forbidden. It’s not like I could stand it with my legs stretched out like that for 40-45 minutes…
So I came to the conclusion that sitting meditation – now – is a continuous struggle for me. It’s a struggle against the pain in my body for the sake of mental concentration. During a 20-minute meditation, I have to start concentrating again and again many times. This is how sitting meditation now becomes a very serious tool for practice.
There is another option. This is using a chair. I use this during my evening meditations. It’s more comfortable than without it, but the pain is still there in the evening, the chair doesn’t relieve it.
Laying down meditation
We do this in the morning and during the day. The other two are after meditation exercises.
After all the physical pain, lying on our backs is a pleasure.
And although many people fall asleep during it – you can hear snoring from several directions – this type of meditation is not about rest either. You have to concentrate here too. Moreover, much harder than in the case of sitting meditation, because – based on my experience – as soon as concentration ceases, I immediately fall asleep.
In other words, this type of practice also has a very serious meaning and role.
Concentration keeps you awake. It is a difficult, but not impossible task.
And it gives me great satisfaction when I hear other people’s snoring, and not when I wake up to my own.
The reason for my satisfaction here is that I have won. Not over others, but over myself.
Practice, practice, practice
To summarize the thoughts of this and previous posts about meditation:
Here we are not diving headlong into the sciences, but into the practices.
In a few days, we can become meditation practitioners who can continue our meditation journey with serious practical experience.
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