105. | My thoughts on singing

The things described in this post have been on my mind for a while now. In my article “The role of music in my life”, I already talked about the energy that listening to music with joy and attention gives me. Now I will write about my thoughts on singing.

This is also a tool that I can use anywhere – even at any moment of my digital nomad life.

Palya Bea

On May 27th, I was talking to one of my young colleagues about something, in connection with which the name Palya Bea came up. He didn’t know Bea, and I wanted that to change, so I showed him where they could meet.

Palya Bea (Makó, November 11, 1976) is a Prima-award winning and two-time Artisjus-award winning Hungarian folk singer and performer. Palya Bea has been dancing and singing since she was a child. Her singing is based on Hungarian folk music: she has delved into Moldavian songs, and she also deals with Bulgarian, Gypsy, and Persian music. In the meantime, she also participates in other musical trends. Bea graduated from ELTE in 2002 in the ethnography department, then received a scholarship in Paris, which allowed her to continue her studies with an Indian singer. A few thoughts from the artist, in her own words: “I am Bea Palya, singer-songwriter-coach. I have been singing for more than three decades, from the Palace of Arts to the Concertgebouw in Amsterdam to Carnegie Hall in New York, I have sung in concert halls both domestically and abroad. I have released 17 of my own albums, written 450 songs, and my band is made up of world-class musicians.”

I wrote her a letter once. I addressed her as an unknown. It was in 2018. I took out the letter that I had written to her because of an article, and the letter itself aroused interesting feelings in me. Now I will read the article and decide whether it should be included here.

I decided after reading the first few lines. The full article can be read here: “Pain brings a gift that should not be wasted” – Interview with Bea Palya. If it becomes unavailable for some reason later, you can open it in saved pdf format from here.

Reading this article 7 years ago, I still have a few thoughts that resonate with me today. About half of this blog is about my self-knowledge work, so it’s no coincidence that the same ones still resonate with me today.

I can only do the job on myself, not on the other person. Of course, it takes two people to make a good ending, but if that doesn’t work, the most important step is still to lay the foundation for my new life on my own.

I like another part. Here, “Am I looking for you!?” came to mind:

I really want to meet a man with whom we could have a conscious relationship, who has the inner security to do so. I thought, did you make me a T-shirt that says “Available” on it. Underneath it are three icons: an erect penis, a heart, and a brain. I think you should advertise if you’re available, and I think I am, eight months after the divorce. I’m not selling a pig in a poke, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have to fight for it.

Apparently the words to be exchanged for me would be:

• with a man => with a woman
• erect penis => a swollen clitoris

This article reminds me of my post “Forgive yourself, Soma!”:

In most divorces, people point at the other person, saying “I feel bad because of you.” But you have to turn that finger around, point it at yourself, and see what’s there. That doesn’t make me give up.

And one last quote, so that I can slowly get to the point. And this brings back my post “My sweet suffering” to mind:

But pain brings a gift that shouldn’t be wasted. It carries crystal-clear messages if you go into it – you just have to go into it.

I am also interested in my own letter, which I wrote years ago. It is so nice to see myself in the letter. I like that some parts of me do not change. I hope they never do! And I always see that I really like to connect. (“Nomad Cruise summary”)

Dear Bea!

I just read the following interview with you: “Pain brings a gift that should not be wasted” – Interview with Bea Palya

When I read/hear something from anyone that stirs deep feelings in me, I write to them to express the joy they have caused, trusting that I can return the feelings I have received from them. That is why I am writing to you…

I really enjoyed this interview. Congratulations on your – in my opinion – brilliant insight into the subject. (Of course, I also praise myself, because I agree with all the thoughts you brought up in the article.) You are not the only one who thinks you are on the right track: I am applying, there are one more of us who think the same way! :o)

I wish you exciting discoveries on this path you are on, I am sure that everything will turn out the way you want, the big yes awaits you, and it will enter your life like someone finding their way home… Have a nice day!

I received a short answer, but it warmed my heart:

István!
This was so good to read!
Thank you!

Those who sing are not afraid!

So, that day I came across Bea’s website. As I scrolled through the first page, a thought immediately struck me: Those who sing are not afraid! Then I soon became the owner of the free downloadable material, entitled: How to Overcome Your Fear of Singing in 3 Easy Steps”.

I also really like the idea that “you can’t sing and be afraid at the same time.”

Music and singing are closely connected. And for the past few days I’ve been thinking about how much I love to sing. I’ve known for a long time that it’s no coincidence. I’m not afraid to sing, if it happens, someone close to me can hear my voice. The last time I could hear it was during the weekend mentioned in the “My fishing experiences” post. I often sing alone. While driving. Sometimes while walking. If I can’t sing, I whistle, perhaps to make those around me less annoyed. Although I know that there have been times when it really annoyed someone, so I did it on purpose.

How do I participate?

When I’m alone in the office, I often sing quietly. In fact, I’ve been dancing in my chair lately. All I need is the right music and my reflexes kick in immediately. I like to sing with others. Sometimes I create the sounds well, sometimes they’re a disaster. That’s not what matters. It’s the energy that flows freely with the singing. Last year, I was standing in the middle of the crowd at a Megadeth concert in Budapest, maybe 30 meters from the stage. Since it’s one of my favorite bands, it’s nice that I screamed the lyrics at the top of my lungs. After one of the songs, two guys expressed their appreciation. This ended up with us meeting in Győr two months later and having a couple of beers and a good chat.

I wrote the previous lines at the airport, on my way to Marseille. A lot has happened since then, and there have been many posts about it. There was an evening on board the Nomad Cruise when one of the ladies apologized for stepping out of the conversation for a bit, but she had to call her sister to sing “Happy Birthday!” to her, because it was her sister’s birthday that day. Suddenly, driven by an idea, I told her that we would help her, so the three of us ended up singing in front of the phone screen. Then I sang the song “Boldog születésnapot” in Hungarian by myself. The unknown young lady was very happy. Then two days later, this lady had her birthday, where about thirty of us sang the English song. Then, after the well-known phrase was sung in different languages, I suddenly sang the Hungarian song to her as well. I felt that everyone liked it.

So, in my experience, singing is good. It brings very good feelings to me and, I hope, sometimes to the audience as well. It moves pleasant energies inside. I dare to suggest that anyone who hasn’t sung since childhood should think about why not! Why do we rarely initiate singing, why is there no spontaneity, why do we not join in when we hear it? A good way to start participating in singing is to just clap at first. But how much does it fit on the tube? I have seen many people who can get involved in things with such emotion that they almost go out of their own way. All this – I feel – is only thanks to energy.