In a simple way. Once this decision was made, I didn’t honor the people I loved by telling them about my decision and my plan for approval or positive support. I simply wanted the person who would be affected by this decision to know.
It was very important to me in these conversations that the person I told why I made the decision I did understand the basis for my decision. They could feel that I was not driven by the momentary whim and desire to escape of a frustrated child, father, or friend. I spoke honestly with everyone. I answered the questions immediately. I had learned much earlier that questions are good for implementing a big plan or dealing with a traumatic period. Questions always come from a different perspective. If the questioner asks something that I know the answer to, I can reassure them that I have already prepared with the given answer. However, I really like the questions that I have not asked yet. If I have the answer to these questions, it is reassuring for me too. And if I don’t know the answer, then there is still something to think about.
I tried to have the conversations as soon as possible. I didn’t want anyone else to find out what is my plan. These conversations had to be with my parents, my children, my siblings, and my friends. For obvious reasons, there are people who will find out later, and not necessarily from me.
There were some difficult conversations. Especially my mom and my daughters. Obviously, friends take these kinds of announcements differently. It was very touching when one of my friends said, “I understand your decision, but I’m devastated.” There was also someone who said that they hoped I would come home one day. From here, I don’t encourage her.
Today there is only one person who matters to me and who doesn’t know about my plan. Can you guess who it is?