This week has also been exciting in terms of my spiritual journey. Since the post “My 3+1 helper in the next period”, it has been known that I have recently participated in 3 self-development processes. I wrote about all three of them in my article “Development of support courses”. Then, in the report “My roots”, I wrote about the Writing and self-knowledge course, which has now ended.
This week, the TRE® course and the Autogenic relaxation training also ended. Now, the article will be about these, and therefore about me again.
Autogenic relaxation training
Monday was the 12th and final session of this training. On the penultimate session, we discussed that everyone would like to end the training with an informal get-together, meaning that after the session we would go to a restaurant for food and drinks.
We started this session the same way as the previous 11: everyone told us what they were up to. Then came a surprise. The psychologist said that today we would no longer relax together. Instead, he came up with the idea of individual conversations. On the previous sessions, everyone had often opened up and told the others honestly, so we know each other a little better than at the beginning, and we could see the progress of the other members. So the program of the class was for everyone to talk to everyone. Form pairs – until everyone has spoken to everyone – and have these pairs talk for 5-6 minutes, where each party tells the other what they see in the other. Of course, only in positive words.
I like these kinds of tasks. Giving someone an assessment is no small responsibility, and it can also be hard to grasp, especially if the opinion is honest and there is room for improvement.
I think we all went through visible development. It was not difficult for me to recall memories related to our partners, memorable accounts and their relaxation-related solutions, experiences, and overall development. I have told all my partners that I am grateful for their honesty, for the thoughts and perspectives they have given me. They have told me that each of their perspectives is important to me because “it helps me put myself on the map.” That means that when they mention a familiar problem, I am either glad that I am over it or I remind myself that I still have to deal with it. When they bring up an unfamiliar problem, I either appreciate how lucky I am that I do not have it, or I conclude that it would not be a problem in my life. Or whatever.
It’s good to give, but it’s also good to receive! Out of the five conversations that were directed at me, the word “inspirational” was mentioned in four cases. Everyone emphasized that the way I spoke meant a lot to them. They really liked my positive thoughts, and this kind of attitude touched them in an inspiring way. It was nice to hear that. Even though I’m aware of this myself (i.e., the impact my thoughts have on others in certain cases), and that I don’t open my mouth to receive recognition, it feels good to hear such positive feedback. Perhaps I thought while listening to it that it’s nice that others can use what I can give them as inspirational help.
There was one particularly nice feedback to me. The youngest female participant asked very excitedly if she could say what she thought. I liked that youthful, hasty, “I want to say it right now” attitude. She started by saying that she had never seen a man like me before. Someone who is my age… She immediately started to excuse himself, saying that she didn’t mean I was old. I told her with a smile that I had no problem with my age, feel free to continue, I won’t misunderstand. So she told me that it was unknown to her that a man of my age would be so concerned with getting to know himself. How much it helped her that all my thoughts were filled with positive content. She often felt that there was a difficult content behind what I was saying, but I still approached every difficulty from a positive side. Once again, she emphasized how much it helped her that she listened to me and learned from me.
After we had all received our conversations and feedback, we sat in a circle again. The psychologist took notes on us on the 11 occasion. She also prepared for this occasion by giving feedback to all six of us. This was also a pleasant surprise, and I considered it a nice gesture.
She told me that I was one of her most special patients. I came to the course with no expectations, open-minded, and for the third time I sat down with the system and said that I was ready. She had never experienced anything like this before. I took the essence of the method and immediately used it for my own benefit. I don’t exist to be special! But I often get feedback from people around me that I am special, so sometimes I believe it too. I am special, just as all people are special. What is special about my special situation is that this is perhaps reflected more often than average by the excellent connections I have in my environment…
She also mentioned another occasion (as we deepened the relaxation, we included more and more body parts and body image in the meditation) when my openness deepened and I started talking about my inner world in a different way. I liked the way this moment was highlighted. Since I am quite a documentarian, I can now see in a moment that the aforementioned occasion was in mid-February. Two days after I wrote my post titled “Forgive yourself, Soma!” This is just a simple proof for me that the sentences written correspond to my reality and that the important realization that I put on the table in this writing was also visible to another, coincidentally a spiritual helper professional.
Adding up all my experiences and discoveries, and the feedback I received, the effectiveness of the course has been proven to me! It is good that I took the plunge, it is good that I was present throughout. Thank you Eszter for recommending it to me!
TRE® training
Yesterday (Thursday) I was at this kind of relaxation course again, for a refresher, consultation session. We finished working together on April 2nd, so I went again after 5 weeks to discuss my experiences that had accumulated in the meantime.
We started this session like all the previous sessions. Now I told the psychologist about 5 weeks of experiences. This included Transylvania (“I missed you, Dulcinea!”), Italy (“Cinque Terre travel diary”), the many experiences that I had experienced during these weeks. I also told him about meeting my ex-wife (“An unexpected journey”).
Our conversation went a little differently than I am used to. As the time came when we usually start relaxing, the conversation continued. Then the interesting point came when I said that I didn’t mind if we didn’t relax today, but continued this conversation. And so we did.
In all such cases, the report is made up of several things on my part. I tell the circumstances of the experience and with it the realizations and feelings that arose at that time. For example, I don’t just tell her that I was in Cinque Terre, but also what experiences I had and how I experienced them. The first very interesting point was when the psychologist, after listening to part of my report, asked if I didn’t want to treasure what I have inside me. Since I’m already looking for a job, haven’t I thought about helping others? It’s obvious that I have a lot of work wit myself, I can tell and live it in an interesting and understandable way, I also studied coaching, it’s all in one. She apologized for taking the conversation in this direction, but she had to ask. I simply replied that I thank you very much for asking and that I am grateful for it. If she – as a psychologist – thinks that I could do this, it’s quite an honor for me.
We talked about a lot of things, which are not related to this post, because I can’t write everything down either. But my relationships came up. Here I had such elementary realizations that I have to say that if I hadn’t learned the TRE® technique, just driving 200+ kilometers several times, the lessons learned yesterday would still have been worth the time, energy and money. By the way, I mastered the method.
In a particular relationship topic, the lady said that she was experiencing a special phenomenon more and more often with her female clients. She works on this phenomenon with several of her patients. This phenomenon – I think – was also present in my last relationship. She said that the problem was so interesting and serious that she was thinking about it, that she would write about it. I immediately told her that if she wanted to find a co-writer for this work, she could count on him. She said that she would think about it… Nice prospects!
I really liked it when the lady laughed sincerely when mentioning one of my very self-reflective – and at the same time very painful – memories. She also apologized that she was laughing not at what I said, but at how. I smiled with her too, because for years I have experienced that my stories put others in a good mood. Because I could tell these experiences – or rather traumas – in such a way that the listener would cut their veins thanks to the contagious depression. Instead, I tell it the way I want to hear it: with humor, with a healthy momentum that shows me and the other person that I am truly over this thing. Imagine, for example, how you can tell it in a funny way when your partner tells you, “What happened to you was terrible, no one should have to go through this!” and then a few years later, she does the same thing to you. I can only tell this in a funny, self-ironical way, without forgetting my own responsibility, if I add a little of my perspective, the essence of which is that “the story is the same, life is different.” In my opinion, we should never forget that every story – the most important to us – has already happened to countless other people. There is nothing new under the sun. And if I can implement this perspective, I can perhaps handle the story a little more easily.
We talked – again, not for the first time with a professional – about the patterns that were present throughout my two serious relationships. Two or three – for me – very serious realizations are a huge win. In the last two weeks, all my cards have been winners, which further strengthens my flow and the feeling that I am on the right way.
We talked about why I feel sure that I will be smarter the third time around. We agreed that if I really pay attention to my own feelings, then I may choose the right indicator.
I made one funny remark at the end of the conversation. On the first, or at the latest the second date of my next relationship, I will ask the lady about her relationship with her father. It is conceivable that she will be wearing only panties when she tells me that her relationship with her father was a disaster and then I will remember that I left the iron on and I have to rush home immediately…
My dear Dulcinea! I hope your father was a good father!