I was thinking about not having a Hungarian title for this post, only an English one. I rejected the idea: English would cause a headache even for many English people.
A friend of mine called me today. I accidentally mentioned him in my post yesterday.
He asked me a serious question, which I answered after a short thought.
This reminded me of one of the “love at first sight” stories from my life. I will tell you.
As well as the question and my answer.
Love at first hearing
It was 1988 or 1989.
The mother of a classmate of mine in elementary school asked me to tutor her son in math. I agreed, I went to their house a few times and we studied together.
On one occasion, the guy gave me an original(!) cassette. In Hungary, we called it a “program” cassette at the time, distinguishing it from the cassettes copied to a thousand tracks. An original cassette was a great treasure back then.
He said he was giving it to me because it was such bad music that he didn’t like it.
I’m talking about Depeche Mode’s 1987 album Music for the Masses.
My dad had brought me a two-cassette player from France not long before. I couldn’t wait to listen to my new composition when I got home. I put it in the player and immediately fell in love with this music when I heard the first notes.
The album begins with the song “Never Let Me Down Again”.
In the following years, I became a hardcore Depeche Mode fan. I knew the songs by heart, I had all their albums. Another friend’s mother typed and copied the lyrics on a typewriter, and they became a treasure for me. As I understood more and more of the English language, my affection for the band deepened.
Although my musical tastes have changed, and I have been a trash metal, melodic death metal fan for 30+ years, my passion for Depeche Mode has remained.
And for some reason, “Never Let Me Down Again” was always there among the dozens of DM songs. It was no coincidence that Spotify said in its annual summary a few years ago that I listened to this song hundreds of times that year. This sent it to the first place on my top list. It is no coincidence that DM has appeared in every annual summary since then.
That song came up again today.
I’m in trouble!
This is what my friend called me today.
The one I met on Koh Samui. The one who moved to Cambodia and bought a boat.
He told me how everything around him had fallen apart in the past few weeks. He said he needed a friend to talk to about it.
I’m happy he chose me. That means a lot in a friendship.
We talked about it. We parted ways with me saying that he could call me whenever he needed to.
Shortly after, he asked me a question on WhatsApp:
When you said that you went through a time like I am right now. When was it, how long did it last and how did you resolve it? Looking for insight:)
When everything falls apart
I think this time comes in most people’s lives.
Most of the time it happens in a flash.
Of course, the story often comes out afterwards. The narrative changes over time.
I’ve never tried to summarize my story in a nutshell, let alone think it through in terms of how long it took to move on and how I resolved it.
I thought for a minute and wrote this to him:
I have experienced it three times in my life. When everything collapsed. First I suffered for months. Then it seemed like the problem was going to be solved, so I didn’t solve it. We stayed together. This happened in 2010. In 2017, when the same problem appeared, I started to collapse. But a thought occurred to me. Then I said to myself: If I let myself sink this time, I will never be able to get back on my feet again. And I can’t do that. So I started to fight and walk the path of my inner self. It was hard work, but it helped me move on. The third time, at the end of 2024, when I realized that my fiancée had cheated on me, I fell to my knees in pain and sobbed. I asked God why he had done this to me again? I had lost myself.
Then I made a decision. My decision was: I am happy. I will not be happy. I am happy here and now. I choose happiness. Then I made another decision to change my life and move towards my new dream. I will live the lifestyle I live today. In short: I made decisions. I will never disappoint myself again.
I may be wrong. But it worked for me.
After my answer, I started thinking and working.
It was no coincidence that “Never Let Me Down Again” appeared in the last lines. I have only been listening to this song for the past hour and a half.
I wrote this post.
And for the hundredth time, I read the lyrics again and again, which I know by heart.
My best friend
How does Dave Gahan sing this?
I’m taking a ride with my best friend
I hope he never lets me down again
He knows where he’s taking me
Taking me where I want to be
I’m taking a ride with my best friend
We’re flying high
We’re watching the world pass us by
Never want to come down
Never want to put my feet back down on the ground
I have exchanged only one sentence over the years:
I know I will never let myself down again…
I love this best friend of mine so much.
Buy me a coffee?
If you enjoyed this story, you can buy me a coffee. You don’t have to – but it means a lot and I always turn it into a new adventure.
Buy a coffee for Steve
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Short introduction